Men at Work
The Groom’s Duties:
The bride doesn’t have to do all the work. Some of the planning falls on the groom.
The first thing he has to do, after finding your ring and choosing his grooms men, is
to start working on his guest list. He’ll need to consult with his parents and have them prepare a list of who they would like to invite (including addresses!).
Once the date is set, he needs to gather all the information he needs from his groomsmen to order their tuxedos. If you are having a casual reception, or open
house, he may be off the hook on this duty. The groomsmen can just wear dark suits. If that is the case, it will be easy for the groom to decide on gifts for his
attendants, he can get them all matching ties in the wedding color.
The two of you should go to the tuxedo rental place and pick the style you want. Then the groom needs to ask what measurements are needed (including shoe
sizes).He should make a list of what information he needs and start getting it as soon as possible. The groom is responsible for putting the order in for the rental
and the groomsmen are each responsible for paying for their own rentals (see “Best Man” below).
The groom’s family pays for the bridal party’s flowers. That usually includes:
Bride’s bouquet (but not the Bridesmaid’s bouquets)
Corsages for the moms and grandmothers
The groom is responsible for getting the marriage license, even though both of you are required to be there. See the information on obtaining a marriage license
If you are going to have your rings engraved, this would be the responsibility of the groom.
After the best man gives his toast to the couple, it would be nice (but not necessary) for the groom to take the microphone and thank both sets of parents, guests,
attendants and the bride for being his wife. (It would also be appropriate, but not necessary, for the bride to then take the microphone and say a few words).
There is no need to have anyone else join in on the toasting – once you get started with that, it becomes a problem to stop.
The groom traditionally pays for the getaway car. The two of you should decide how you want to depart (see the “Grand Exit” for ideas) and then he should
make the arrangements. He should also arrange for someone to get your luggage into the car when it arrives.
The groom is responsible for paying for the honeymoon so he needs to be involved in the planning and make all the arrangements.
The groom is responsible for lodging any out of town groomsmen (but groomsmen pay their own travel expenses).
There is one last detail that he best not forget, the gift for his bride!
~Assists groom with all details of the wedding day.
~Pays for his own attire.
~Organizes a bachelor party or dinner for groom.
~Organizes a group gift to groom from groomsmen.
~Drives the bride and groom to the reception if no driver is hired.
~Makes sure groomsmen are all there on time with boutonnieres on left side, stem down.
~If there is no wedding coordinator, the best man is usually the one to deliver the tips to the vendors. Ask the bride for envelopes to be given to each.
~The best man is also expected to give a toast at the reception. The toast usually takes place after everyone has found a place and most people have gotten their food
(or first course, if a sit-down dinner).
~Dances with the bride after the groom and both fathers have danced with her .
~Prepares the honeymoon car, packs suitcases in car.
~Holds for safekeeping, any tickets, keys, etc. for the groom.
~Returns groom's tuxedo and accessories to rental shop and makes sure the rest of the groomsmen get theirs back as well.
~Usually pays own travel (but not lodging).
~Pay for their own wedding attire (get requested measurements in promptly)
~Attend bachelor dinner if there is one.
~Contribute to group gift for groom (and each gives a gift to the couple).
~Escort bridesmaids during the ring ceremony (if there is one).
~Usually pay own travel (but not lodging).
Father of the Bride: Besides paying for everything, he only has one official duty and that is welcoming guests to the reception/open house (unless you are having a ring ceremony, in which case he may walk the bride down the aisle).
He should thank guests for coming, particularly those who came from out of state and he should welcome his new son-in-law into his family.
Note about the Mother of the Bride: Hopefully, she has made arrangements so that she can enjoy the day with the bride. Her only official duties should be to serve as the bride’s escort (if possible) and hostess the events of the day. She doesn’t have to make any speeches or toasts – just sit back and enjoy the event.